by JANE

Hmmm.....

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:07:41 GMT

If you came here from the MSN Spaces page, I have to let you in on a little secret: this is no longer an active space because the commenter is hinky - sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes it works too well. Anyhoodle, for some reason MSN has put this place back on their Updated Spaces rotation even though, with the exception of this, THERE ARE NO UPDATES, MSN!

Sorry, that's the long version of why you should go HERE instead.

BYE Jane

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 22:23:03 GMT

Well, this is the end at least for now.

I don't have any more time to put into the fight with MSN to get things fixed here so I have moved to a new hacienda over here:

http://byjanes.spaces.live.com

Please come visit me. I've been lonely. Ha! I AM anxious to see if anyone can comment. Is it me or is it MSN, that is the question. Okay, I'm just rambling. Go on - look over there. It's still a work in progress. I hope to get some of the bells back, never had any whistles really.

The death of Jane

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 00:25:45 GMT

It's really lonely here at Jane's place. I know I have said in the past that your comments are optional but I think I lied. Either that or I just assumed there would always be a few comments no matter what I said. Well, without comments, blogging is pretty much like putting a message in a bottle and sending it off. Someone might read it but how would you ever know. It's not as much fun, that's for sure.

I don't know if my Space will ever be fixed. I am getting mixed messages from our friends at MSN mission control. They tell me that it is a problem that has been reported by others and they are working on it. But they told Weimie that it is a unique and isolated problem involving my space. I haven't heard anything from them for days. I think it is odd that they keep featuring this space on the 'Updated Spaces' area of Spaces Central when it is so obviously broken. How's that for advertising? 'Hey, you too can have a cool space like this! But, by the way, you might not be able to receive comments.' Maybe once again, I am destined to be the horrible warning instead of the good example.

Wow, I'm starting to sound like the bitter old lady whose peach cobbler scored no ribbons at the county fair. I'm feeling more like a crack addict whose connection has run dry, therefore I am doing the one thing I can do - I'm going to Spaces rehab... 5 days of internet cold turkey in the Colorado river wilderness. Gonna hike and bike and kayak, maybe. Definitely chill and throw back a few Mike's.

If the Space Patrol sees fit to return my powers to me, I will share some tales and pics and maybe even a hard lemonade or two when I get back. If not... well... maybe I will have to fire up my Blogspot. It's a little rusty but with a little bit of work I think I could move back in within no time. Does anyone else out there speak Blogspot?

All I can say is keep trying.

Peace out!

Jane

Your participation is required.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:51:34 GMT

My sweet friend Madge is having quite the good time making fun of my commentless blog. But being the trooper she is, she has offered to host my comments. What a gal! In appreciation for her kindness, please go over there and just leave the best blonde joke you can think of in the comments. No explanation or anything. Trust me, she LOVES blonde jokes. Really, she does.

I think this might go a long ways toward pulling me out of my funk so.... go ahead she's right here.

Thanks,

Jane

Update: The very observant Isabelle pointed out that the techy's were apparently looking at whyaskwhy.spaces.live.com. Which is not even my Space and contains pretty much nothing, which would explain why they thought I was hoping for imaginary comments from my imaginary friends on my imaginary blog. Thanks to that little observation and the fact that they have received reports from some of you, they are now 'looking into the matter'. Yay! I am hoping to get this cleared up so I can leave on vacation for a week and you will have absolutely nothing on which to comment anyway. Isn't that the way it goes sometimes?

Feeling as supported as when jogging braless

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 03:29:53 GMT

Problem: No one can comment on my blog.

Solution: Ask Windows Live support for help. Surely they would know about this. They can help, right?

So I wrote to them. I answered a plethora of questions including:
People say they can't leave comments
Frequency of the issue:
Always present

They wrote back:

Hello Jane,

Thank you for writing to Windows Live Spaces Technical Support. My name is Dana and based on your e-mail, there are people who seem to be unable to add comments to your Space. I understand how inconvenient this can be.

I simulated this issue, but did not receive any error in leaving a comment. We need more details about this matter and may need to correspond with the people who cannot add comments. You may ask them to contact us about this issue so that we can assist them.

We appreciate your continued support as we strive to provide you with the highest quality service available. Thank you for using Windows Live Spaces.

Sincerely,

Dana

Windows Live Spaces Technical Support

I wrote back:

The unanimous problem is that when people try to comment it says
'The server has encountered and error. Please try again.'
I have had complaints about this sporadically but now, it seems NO ONE can comment. At. ALL.

They responded:

Hello Jane,
Thank you for writing back to Windows Live Spaces Technical Support. My name is Damen and I understand that other people are unable to post comments on your Space. I know how inconvenient this can be.
In order for us to assist you better, please reply to this e-mail with the following information:
- The outline of steps these people have taken in posting comment on your Space
- The exact error message they received
I have also checked your Space, (http://whyaskwhy.spaces.live.com) and found that there is no Blog entry of photos on it where you can post comments.
We appreciate your continued support as we strive to provide you with the highest quality service available. Thank you for using Windows Live Spaces. We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Damen
Windows Live Spaces Technical Support

Me back at them:

When trying to comment on either of the last two blog entries (thru the add a comment link below the blog), people get this error message:
The server has encountered an error. Please try again.

I don't know what you mean about the photos where you can leave comments.

What has me confused is that I did not change any settings or even colors between when the comments worked and when they didn't work.

And finally from them:

Thank you for writing back to Windows Live Spaces Technical Support. My name is Hext and I understand that peaple are unable to leave comments on your Space. I appreciate the time you spent in writing back to us.

Jane, we may need to correspond directly to those Members who are experiencing this issue. You may ask them to contact us about this matter and inform them to provide us with a detailed description of the issue.

1. The step-by-step procedure they did that lead to the problem.

2. Have they tried using another computer? Did they also encounter the same issue?

We appreciate your continued support as we strive to provide you with the highest quality service available. Thank you for We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Hext

I am speechless. Let me think... if everyone who tries to comment, can't, will it really help for them to move to another computer???? I'm no tech supporter or ace detective but I'm thinking that is not going to be the winning solution.

So, am I speaking the wrong language? Why do they keep telling me the same thing? WTF are peaple anyway?

Ideas anyone? You will have to email or message them to me probably. Feel free to contact them yourselves if you're feeling masochistic. I think I better go to bed before I say something that might get my blog accidentally erased.

HELP!

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:23:20 GMT

I am hearing from some of you that you can't leave comments on my blog. I notified Spaces but they think I am just hoping to hear from friends I don't have since they can't duplicate the problem. If any of you really have been unable to leave a comment and you could give me some specifics, like the error message you're getting or a screen shot or, I guess, any type of proof that you aren't my imaginary non-commenting friends, I'd appreciate it.

My message feature seems to be working as well as my e-mail which is listed right there at the top, right of my home page.

Or I guess I could just wander away for the rest of my hiatus time... it's okay... really.

Jane

Sometimes she makes me...choke... so proud!

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:32:48 GMT

A telephone conversation overheard last evening - Alpha talking to her (paternal) grandmother.

Oh sorry, Grandma, we were outside working on my ride...

Yeah, we greased and filled things and replaced a blinker bulb and the wiper blades and put injector cleaner in the gas tank. It's been running funny again but hopefully, that will hold it together until I get my Jeep...

I should have enough money in a month...

Yes, I'm very sure I want a Jeep...

What do you mean that's a boy car?...

Well, Grandma, I wear pants, why can't I drive a Jeep?...

Mmm... I see. And I should definitely pick my car based on what boys will think.

Oh, he's not home from work yet...

With my mom, silly, my dad doesn't know anything about cars...

He DOES?... No way!... really?... really...

Well, Grandma, that was a long time ago and I guess he has forgotten everything. The other day I had to show him how to open the hood of his truck.

speed blog

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 16:42:28 GMT

Okay I have about 10 minutes before I have to get back on the job so thought I would throw in an update.

I'm still on bathroom duty but it's coming along nicely. We have torn out the fixtures, replaced the shutoff valves, replaced some drywall, torn up two layers of flooring and a bunch of rotted subfloor around the toilet. Ugh.

Keep in mind, I use the term 'we' loosely. Mostly it is ME, with my friend standing by saying 'How do you know how to do all this?' Um, I don't know, common sense just told me that you should use the flat end of the hammer to pound things.

The walls are all spackled and primed and the floor has concrete backerboard down. We have finally pulled the bathroom up to zero as opposed to the negative 40 that we started at. Clean slate. Today we lay the tile, I hope.

Yesterday was total madness. This is the last weekend I can participate in the Habitat for Patty project so I have been pushing hard. But this is also Homecoming weekend and there was a football game on Friday night and the big dance last night for Omega and manis and pedis to cure (outsourced this time) and curls to spiral and pictures to take and Oh My Heck, it is not possible that that person I sent off to the Homecoming dance is any relation to me. I was tempted to put a 'These premises guarded by an attack dog' sign on her. Thank God her dad was not home at the time - she would STILL be in the closet. She is still at her friend's house where they all slept over last night so I haven't heard how it went.

Anyway my time is up and I think the ibuprofen has kicked in enough to allow me to drag my sorry a$$ across the street and get to work.

Happy Sunday everyone.

90 psi

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 16:39:08 GMT

Yeah, you probably knew I couldn't stay away completely. I've been doing well, keeping my nose out of Spaces for the most part, so I can git'er all done and get caught up to the level of behind that I am used to. The problem with putting my blogging on hold is that I have taken on an amazing likeness to the Michelin*Man. Like they say - women don't belch, fart or... something else that escapes me... therefore we must um... vent or we will explode. Well, I have had no place to vent, therefore I'm starting to feel puffy. And irritable.

Exibit A: as I was driving to work this morning, *heigh-ho, heigh-ho* I happened to look up high into the mountains, and noticed *gasp* that the trees have started to change color.

No.

Can't be.

Summer is NOT over.

While I'm all in favor of a bit cooler temps, I am not willing to have summer pried from my greedy little fists. I do not have time for fall because that means tons of leaves and walnuts and crabapples will need to be picked up. The pool must be put away, windows washed and summer crap stored. And then... the windows must be closed. This is probably the worst part for me. I have resisted the installation of central air conditioning all these years in favor of our 'swamp' cooler because it functions with the windows open - blowing a constant cool, moist breeze through the house. Like sandals for your house. In our climate we have to keep things all tightly sealed in the winter so I like things to breathe in the summer. Besides, when you live with two cats, two teenagers and a man you just can't get enough fresh air in the house.

So I'm grumpy.

Because of the turning leaves.

No one warned me.

I'm thinking I need to switch morning news stations. It should have been in there somewhere between the weather and traffic reports; 'And if you're traveling the east bench commute this morning, wearing your light sweater as we recommend, and traffic slows around the bridge construction like we're telling you it will, DO NOT LOOK UP or you will surely see the remainder of this calendar year flash by faster than you can burn a buck's worth of gas'. That's what they SHOULD have said. But they didn't. I had to find out for myself.

So I went through the only stage of grief that I know; irritation. I let my brain freefall through all the aforementioned business and through a few expletives and had almost settled back into my basic funk, when a Scion XB drove by. I guess it was God's way of giving me another poke. He must be thinking I'm getting old and less volatile so he needs to throw extra fuel on my fire, because there is no single car type anywhere on the road today that irritates me like that car does. I love the Honda*Element and the Scion XA. Yeah, I know, go figure. What irritates me nearly as much as an XB is that I don't know why it irritates me. For the most part I love cars that look different. I have no more desire to drive a non-descript sedan than to wear gray orthopedic shoes with dresses. This might have a lot to do with my Tar*get habit and the fact that their parking lot is rife with small, non-descript sedans. Could you just see me stumbling around the parking lot from Civic to Corolla to Hyundai looking for my car while the TP slips from my grip and the milk jug numbs my fingers? Probably my pants would be falling down, too and I would have no way to pull them up - that's where this would become more than my own problem.

But, I digress. The fact is I not only would not buy an XB, I can hardly stand to look at them. I like to picture them high-centered on the 4" speed bump at the grocery store. I even find myself wondering what kind of a person operates those little metal boxes. I imagine they are the same kinds of people that don't flush toilets in public restrooms and take more than one sample from the demo lady at the supermarket.

Okay, now that I have offended every XB owner who stops by here, I have to plead with you not to take this seriously. Not that you guys ever take me seriously, but please understand this is not a rational opinion. At least I can't find the ration for it. Once again, I am merely looking for validation. Is there anything that makes you nuts for no apparent reason? I mean there are so many things in my life that drive me crazy; backpacks on the dining room table, bowls on the bottom shelf of the dishwasher, lawns mowed in straight lines, shoes EVERYWHERE and the dirty socks... oh Guy-Maude, the dirty socks! But I can rationalize ev-er-y one of those irritations. Except the XB.

You know I am having some personally shaky times, so I need you to do me a BIG favor. Dig down deep in your irritation bag and pull out your most irrational one... and share it... HERE. Go ahead, make me feel like less of a freak. I count on you guys for that.

Oh, and thanks so much for all your encouraging words. You are so sweet. I love ya all!

Intermission time

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 17:20:19 GMT

For various reasons I will probably be somewhere else for the next couple of weeks. One reason would be the fact that I have... um... volunteered? to redo my friend's bathroom for her. Maybe volunteered is not the right word. What comes about halfway between volunteering and having a gun put to your head? I think it is my self-imposed penance for being such a lousy friend, which is another story. Luckily, it is not something I really mind doing, I just don't have the time right now... but that would be making it about me.

We did make significant progress over the weekend and hopefully the remodeling gods will continue to spit sunshine at us and we can wrap up this project sooner than later.

Another reason would be that I am taking a trip with my (different) friend in two weeks. Which I need even more than ever because I am having life issues, I think. I can't seem to shake this funk which is growing. I know something is wrong when I log on to Spaces and I have nothing to say. I look at 1 or 2 blogs and I close the cover because it seems like too much effort. Or maybe I just feel guilty about the fourteen or ninety-seven other things I should be doing. No doubt. This, too, I'm sure will pass.

Meanwhile... you all behave, no pushing, no fighting and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times!

Peace out!

Jane

Bits of Tid

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 16:40:59 GMT

Some things I learned this week:

SECRET is really NOT strong enough for a man. At least not my man. Homer ran out of B.O.deo last week and was forced to borrow mine. EV-ER-EE shirt he wore had to be washed in special stink killer detergent. Good grief, he must have been fun to work with... not.

Cheesecake for breakfast is WAY underrated. I got to work Friday, in a funk and not feeling so well, despite the fact that I was wearing my tropical print Converse All*Stars. Cinderella, the wonder assistant, bestowed upon me a piece of her homemade caramel cheesecake for dessert later. I ate it at 9am and the day improved immediately.

God has given me my friend across the street so that I will appreciate everything that is right with my life. Especially the grasp I have of it.

I suddenly realize how lucky I am to have kids that are NOT pukers. I overheard Omega telling someone that she hasn't thrown up since third grade. Alpha thinks her last was the infamous state fair corn dog hurl of '95. Did you know that chunks of hot dogs will not dissolve in the washing machine? I really miss that bedspread. I wanted to throw out the washer, too, but Homer said "NO!" Which I find kind of ironic because Homer won't get within 2 rooms of known regurgitation.

I would rather spend time with my kids than most of my friends and my extended family members and I have absolutely no regrets about that.

How ironic it is that when we were kids, we expected our parents to understand that the world had changed since they were kids and therefore the rules they grew up with really didn't apply to us, BUT now as parents, we tend to compare our kids to our generation at their age. Is that called perspective or hypocriticism? And as long as I'm asking questions, what really is the word for the practice of being a hypocrite?

And last but not least, how grateful I am for weekends.

Peace out!

Just call me Jane Lafonda

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 13:57:15 GMT

Hey guys, I think I finally have THE BIG IDEA. The one that is going to make me enough dinero to take my kayak and retire to Baja. Well, after it buys me the kayak.

Wait a minute, though. I probably shouldn't even tell you all, should I? I mean there could be one of you out there ready to yank my boat right out from under my patookus and dump me in the drink with the crocodiles. Except... I don't think there are crocs in Baja. Maybe the harmless kind you wear on your feet. Still...

I guess I might as well tell you because it's not likely I'll actually follow through with the patenting and incorporating and franchising and... taxes. Ohmygosh! I do not need more tax hassles or accounting to frizzle my nerves. Okay, screw the make-a-million part of it, here's my idea:

Exercise classes at the Home*Improvement*Store.

No, seriously! Stay with me. This is an idea whose time has SO come.

Take me for instance, because I'm such a shining example. You don't know how many times I wake up in the morning suffering from some kind of pain or another caused by the previous day's home project. Homer pokes much fun at my sheetrocker's back or my digger's butt or even my plumber's crack. Oh, wait, that's a wardrobe issue.

Let's face it; pencil pushing and keyboard tapping does not prepare us for the gardening and repairing and improving that we feel compelled to torture ourselves with on the weekends. But, I'm thinking that if people didn't wake up on Monday morning in such miserable shape, they would be more likely to dive into more projects NEXT weekend. And, since more projects mean more sales, they could offer these classes for FREE!

I can totally see the brochure. People dressed in workout wear, tool belts and safety glasses lined up in the light bulb aisle working it. Hmm, I'm thinking some class options might include:

Weightlifting for Tiling and Masonry Start out with 3 pound bricks, work up to those castle-wall back-busting blocks in no time. Also good for toting backerboard and BIG, heavy boxes of tile.
Handyperson's Pilates Works all the major muscle groups when you don't know what's going to break next around that money pit you call home.
Painter's Yoga Bend, stretch, reachforthatreallyhighspot! In with the new color... out with the bad. Get in shape for ceilings in less than a week!
Core-building for Carpenters Tote, saw, hold and hammer wood pieces for any project with ease. In no time you will build enough torso strength to leglift Al Borland and the Tool Time girls.

Sounds good? Yea-uh. Think of the time you could save, too, especially if they installed a Starbucks. You'd have your workout, your latte and your tile grout all in one convenient location. No chance of being distracted by a BOGO shoe sale or getting sucked into Barnes'n Noble for half the day. They already sell Coke and candy as well as those awesome dawgs with all the trimmings. You wouldn't have to go home until your credit card is maxed and your truck is full.

Pretty smart. Think about it. You'll see I'm right.

Lights Out

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 16:59:12 GMT

The author of this blog is temporarily discombobulated.

Please stand by while useless brain litter is purged.

Sorry,

I spent an hour last night driving 3 girls around the city in torrential rains,

so they could answer their Homecoming Dance dates in proper fashion.

Again, no simple phone call or text message will do the trick.

When I finally returned home to a house without power,

I was immediately sent out again to buy:

Calculator batteries
Milk
Textbook covers
Gas

Okay, the gas was for my benefit,

but I wouldn't have NEEDED it had I not put 30+ miles into

the Homecoming express.

My darn kids were just wrapping up a 4-day weekend,

please tell me why it finally became necessary

to break into the homework frenzy

once the power went out.

Never mind, you don't know either.

So, I got out the oil lamps,

one of which was dry - where DO you buy lamp oil these days?

And dug out the flashlights and headlamps

which were pretty much still on the top of the

crap heap from the camping trip.

AND

*bonus time*

they still contained functional batteries.

I took my trusty little Pho*ton light to the bathroom and showered.

Thank you, my sweet GAS water heater!

Amazingly, you only really need enough light in the shower

to be able to tell the difference between shampoo and conditioner.

Forget the leg-shave,

I see long pants in my future.

Then off to bed.

I had to flashlight-read a couple of extra pages

because I had no fan to lull me to sleep.

I am a certified fan-baby.

A house with no electricity is too quiet.

The power came back on in the middle of the night.

I know because I left the fan turned on

just in case.

Of course the time fairy did NOT sneak in and reset our clocks.

So we overslept this morning.

I am too electronics-challenged to set the alarm

on my cell phone.

Luckily my daughters are not.

Poor Homer checked the oven, the microwave and the toaster oven

looking for the nummy breakfast he could smell cooking.

I had to break the news that it was only the plug-in

air freshener that he smelled.

Creamy*nutmeg is quite convincing.

Off to work.

Traffic is jammed,

I mean REALLY jammed

because some stoplights are still without power.

Could be one of those days.

But I don't think it will be.

Because my boss is out sick and I am wearing a very cute new sweater.

Funny how life balances out.

There might even be something worthwhile here tomorrow.

For Madge:

To my eyes, proper fashion was a jumble of posters,

candy bars,

cute poems

and a scavenger hunt

where the recipient had to search for the three pieces of clue that spelled out the girls' answers...

All of which were YES.

Lucky for all of them, they each had a sibling to get them 'inside'.

Note to boys who ask girls to dances:

Make sure your room is clean when you leave the house.

Or at least not totally disgusting...

IF you want the girl to NOT reconsider her choice of dates.

The Why Family Grows Up?

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 19:24:28 GMT

Well, here I am, back at the crib a day early. That can't be good, you say? You would be right. It was nothing tragic, mind you. All four family members made it home with all their fingers and toes and, more remarkably, their souls. Big deal, you say? Yes, it is.

It turns out that this was not our trip. As in 'this is not my day'. Only times 43.

Here's the trip as planned:

We pack up all our stuff Saturday morning.
Drive 100ish miles to the reservoir - in 2 cars because the pickup which pulls the boat is only capable of carrying 3 people unless the intent is to reduce the family size whereby you can stuff in 4 and see which member gets tossed out the window by his or her irritated cab-mates. Since no one was feeling like a rumble, we also planned to take my car.
Put the boat in the water, load it with all our worldly 3 days worth of necessary junk.
Motor off to the boat-access only campground.
Lug 3 days worth of excessive paraphernalia across 100 yards of beach - uphill.
Set up camp.
Sit back and enjoy 2+ days of fun in the sun and wonder on the water.

Here's the trip as it actually unfolded.

Homer has a work emergency that takes up most of Saturday morning.
Jane packs the stuff Homer had laid out Friday night into a duffle for his pretrip inspection.
Jane, Alpha and Omega pack and load 3 days worth of crapola into the boat and Jane's car.
Homer arrives 15 minutes pre-departure.
We drive 100ish miles to the reservoir, put the boat in the water, boat to the campground, lug all the stuff, including the 62 pieces of firewood that Homer packed at the last minute, UP the hill to the campsite.
Set up camp. Homer and Alpha do a little wakeboarding.
Jane makes a superb, Eagle Scoutess worthy fire on which she cooks brats and fresh corn on the cob.

Does this not appear to be the life?

And this?

And the view from my kitchen.

This is where the trouble starts.

Jane forgot the green onions for the salsa that she planned to make from FRESH garden tomatoes and pepper. Oops. Oh well, big deal, it still tastes wunnerful.
When it comes time for S'mores the graham crackers seem to be, um... still at the store? Oops. No problem. Omega creates a scrumptious new variation by pulling the toasted marshmallow off the stick and shoving a piece of Hershey*bar into the hole of the melted marshmallow. Heaven, I tell you. Who needs Kee*bler elves anyway?
So I'm off to bed, listening to drunk 22-year-olds up the hill sing Sublime until all hours. Okay, like 9:30, but I had a hard day. I was tired. And almost asleep when Homer came into the tent looking for his duffle bag. He said... she said... bottom line, it's determined that his bag is still at home. Oops. Lucky thing he is wearing swim trunks. I mean what else does he REALLY need? For starters: medication... and deodorant... toothbrush... and a sweatshirt because it's gotten a bit nippy.
Okay, that's 3 things that were forgotten. If you believe in Joisey's theory of threes, we should be good.

Turns out threes can overlap.

So there is Homer's forgotten suitcase - for one.
Number two would be when he and Alpha cruise off on Saturday morning to check out the lake and Homer hitchhikes back to the campsite 3 hours later with tales of a stranded boat down at the marina. Unfortunately, it is not the marina that contains the truck and boat trailer. Omega and I decline to join the fun when he takes his truck keys and leave. Four hours and a few raging thunderstorms later, Alpha calls and says that they can't get Bob fixed and Homer wants to go home because he isn't willing to leave Bob in the marina parking lot unattended all night.
A bunch of trouble later, we are rambling down the highway headed home. Omega, my copilot wants nothing more for her day's worth of trouble than a chocolate shake from Mickey D's. We swing off the freeway, grab two shakes because no one should drink alone and resume our trip now at the tail end of the family procession. But not for long because a few miles down the road I see Homer's pickup and Bob in the emergency lane along with a stray SUV, which I learn had flagged them down to tell Homer that one of Bob's 4 tires had gone flat. Homer's number 3.

What holds the amazement for me in this good trip gone bad is the incredible lack of bad feelings or anger or frustration throughout the whole weekend. It was like living with the Brady Bunch, except well, Alice wasn't there to cook and clean and Homer has no bad perm. I'm not sure if it was some kind of zodiacal alignment, or the fact that I packed not one but TWO kinds of squirt cheese but several things were conspicuously missing from this aborted camping trip.

Homer did not pitch into his usual string of sailor-blushing profanity that he usually uses when anything of a mechanical nature goes wrong.
Alpha did not launch into super-B mode at the prospect of spending 4 hours lunchless in the hot sun, assisting Homer, the non-mechanic disassemble and reassemble his boat engine.
Omega was content to hang out in the tent with her mom, holding up the walls in the torrential rain. Even laughing hysterically with same mom when it was discovered that the gazebo was GONE! And laughing some more when they trudged up a steep hill in search of same gazebo, accumulating 4" of mud layers on the bottom of their flip flops. Seriously, it was like walking on top of a frosted cake - each layer of mud would attach to the previous layer making platform shoes of our flat sandals and leaving little exposed patches of dirt cake. Have you really tried to walk up and down a hill with platform thongs on your feet? And all this time? Omega was barely able to text any of her friends because of the sketchy cell reception. I know... the girl has the patience of that cop who interviewed Senator Craig.
And Jane, who also deserves her due, did not freak out at being left at the campsite FOR-EVER without so much as an update, while wind and rain soaked most everything but the insides of her tent. She did not get the least bit huffy when asked to pack up THE ENTIRE CAMPSITE in 15 minutes. She did not say 'I told you so' to the man who has put off installing his depth finder for NINE years - the same man who she learned drove aground, filling the engine with all kinds of lake bottom which caused the engine to overheat to which said man responded by - get this - DRIVING FASTER. When the whole story of the boat engine gone bad came out, including the fire extinguisher that didn't work - she held her tongue. Oh My, did she hold her tongue. When she wanted to ask how someone doesn't know that they are towing something with a flat tire, she did not even ask. Does this mean that she isn't storing any of this away for future use? Kind of like a screwup bank. Well, let's not assume too much. She's only human, you know.

Mrs. Chuck Taylor would finally be proud...

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:29:39 GMT

Jane got some new kicks.

I know... you love 'em or you hate 'em.

I'm just glad I don't have to play basketball in them.

Yes, Kat, I may even wear them with jeans some day.

Fried Day

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:41:07 GMT

I appreciate your comments on the last post. I guess I know that I just have to work through my issues and hope for the best. It does help to know I am not out in left field... at least not by myself! You people are great. Thanks.

In other news, I am feeling very fried today. I have this sporadic neck/back thing that is making my life miserable. Right now I have two little sticky heat pads attached to my spine and I am processing four ibuprofens, hoping for enough relief to get some work done. It doesn't help that just as I started to nod off last night, the doorbell went off... SEVERAL TIMES... at ELEVEN freakin' THIRTY...PM! I went back to bed and mostly grabbed a few moments of shut eye in between the stabs of pain. This morning I also made a sudden grab to catch the soda I almost dropped at the Top*Stop which nearly sent me to my knees. I'm pretty sure I saw pain-stars! I am wondering how many sticky hot things I could put on before I would fall on my back like a tipped turtle. This is important to know because I am wearing a short skirt today and well... yeah, nuff said. Also, adding to the misery is my quirky habit of flicking my head around when I talk. I'm sure it's a blonde trait. I had no idea how often I do this, until I endured several sensations somewhat like holding a lit match to my spinal cord.

So, little sleep + much pain = very ornery Jane mood. We are leaving in the morning for a Labor day weekend boat-camping trip. Which would usually make me say 'YAY'! Now, I just feel like saying #%^$!! because I have a lot of packing and shopping and organizing to do. And all I really want to do is take some serious pain pills and go lay in the pool for a while. Yeah, I know, not a good idea, that. Okay, done with that whine.

Interesting thing about this trip. We did the same one last year but Alpha couldn't go because she had to work. Which it seemed she was grateful for because she didn't WANT to go camping, especially with her family. Not cool, you know. Well, this year, she not only suggested the trip, but nagged me into going online and booking a campsite so everyone was committed to the trip - cost me $28, you know, so there will BE NO backing out. She has mentioned at least twice how excited she is... to sleep in a tent... walk 100 yards to the pit toilets... live without running water and *gasp* showers for 3 days... and hang out with her family. Hmmm... should I be suspicious? Will I be hearing from the driver's license division, the county sheriff or the high school principal soon? Dang, I am just a jaded mother, aren't I?

Yes, but a jaded mother who is looking forward to a family weekend. I realized this week how soon things will change. I went online to register Alpha for concurrent enrollment through one of the local colleges. Aack! When the email came back welcoming her to the student body of That There State College, I had a moment. I wasn't scheduled to have this moment until next year, I was supposed to have one last year of total highschoolness. I am realizing that I better latch on to any opportunity for family time that presents itself.

As for the 11:30 doorbell, Homer was actually smart enough to figure out that it related to the poster and huge bag of candy he found on the front doorstep. This is most likely an invitation to the homecoming dance but the clever boy forgot to address it to anyone in particular. I'm thinking it would be pretty funny if Homer accepted the invitation.

Back in MY day, before electricity and the wheel were invented, boys just called on the telephone and asked you to dances. It saved SO much time and parental sleep.

So that's my world in 5 minutes. Hope you all have a fantabulous weekend - this last long weekend of summer.

Most Bothered

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 04:00:15 GMT

Okay, I need your opinion. Or advice, or gentle reminders to tend to my own knitting because one of these days I fear my annoyance will chemically react with my irritatedness and cause an explosion of friend-losing seismic levels.

Here's the skinny. I have a friend who has been telling me how he and his wife are training to be 12-step counselors. Not training as in college-type classes on addiction but sort of on-the-job training in which they are given some information and then they are kind of apprentices and eventually they will work with their own group. A volunteer gig.

I think this is a program that is sponsored by his church. From what I understand, they handle all types of addiction from drugs to alcohol to sex to pornography. Addict types mixed or seperate, I don't know. Here's the part that is really chapping me. From the things he tells me that he has learned, it is blatantly obvious that this man has no experience with addiction. None whatsoever. I know quite a lot about his family and background and judging from the other things he has shared, I think tales of addiction would have been in there somewhere, too, if they existed. I don't believe they do.

Granted, I am no expert, either. BUT, I do have some experience. I was addicted to nicotine for 20 years. I have heard that it is easier to get off heroin than cigarettes. I will have to take their word for that because that is one theory I will not test. Quitting smoking is probably the hardest thing I ever did and I have NO desire to feel that way again. But I did gain a bit of perspective.

I have also dealt with the alcohol addiction of someone close to me. That's not something I ever want to go through again, either. It's very hard for everyone involved. The people we dealt with in that process were very professional and knowledgeable and they fell into two groups: medical professionals and counselors. The medical professionals were doctors and nurses who are trained to handle the physical aspects of addiction. The counselors were college educated people trained to help addicts make the psychological adjustment to life without their drug of choice. These people were all full-time professionals. This is what they do 40+ hours per week. The other type of counselors were the group therapy leaders dealing with both inpatient and ongoing 12-step work. There is all kinds of overlapping, but most counselors were highly educated or recovering addicts themselves or both. And then there are things like AA and NA which only addicts run and attend.

So all that said, what bothers me so much about this friend's new volunteer project is that he has NO formal education in this field and NO actual experience. What exactly is he drawing from? He has talked about how he will use his spiritual training. Huh?

Nopleasetellmeyoudidn'tsaythat.

I know that one of the steps in a 12-step program is to give yourself over to your higher power - whatever you choose that to be. But that is only 1/12th of the process. I do believe in the power of prayer as a supplement. I don't think praying over an addiction is any more effective than praying over a burst appendix. I think you are going to want to enlist the help of some God-supplied professionals in both cases.

The bottom line is that this guy tells me, with all kinds of enthusiasim, how excited he is to be participating in this 12-step training and the Angry Jane just wants to say "What? WTF do you think you are doing? This is not cooking class OR Bible study! These are people with serious problems that you know NOTHING about!"

Part of me thinks I am being overly sensitive. Part of me hopes he is just there to watch the doors and check for contraband. Part of me thinks I am being judgemental. Part of me says "Well, too bad for those poor souls who board his ship"... that I think is full of holes... and will surely sink... Again MY opinion, I guess. But part of me cares about those people and knowing how hard addiction is to kick, I want them to have a chance. Which I don't think they will have - THERE where someone tells them that if they pray hard enough they will be all better.

Enlightenment? Experience? Explanation?

Opinion? It's only fair I let you share yours.

Anyone?

Tastes like chicken

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:00:40 GMT

In the pet food aisle at Targ-it.

Jane: CatTwo's almost out of chow, which kind should we buy? Hairball remedy... indoor cat... urinary health...

Alpha: How would you possibly know if your cat had a bladder infection?

Jane: Um... I don't know. He starts pounding the cranberry juice? Jeez, how WOULD you know? I wonder if OUR cats have urinary issues. Maybe we should get that one just in case.

Alpha: It's probably all the same stuff, just different packaging.

Jane: Could be... it's not like they set out samples. Why don't you take a taste and tell me how it is?

Alpha (excited): Taste the cat food or the CAT? Cuz you know how I feel about CatOne's drumsticks. They look like they would be very tasty!

Is that like a vitamin deficiency or something? Remind me never to leave her home with the cats and an empty pantry.

I've been tagged

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:10:31 GMT

I guess there is no ducking in Space.

THE RULES OF THE TAG ARE:

Each person posts the rules before their list, then list 8 new things about themselves.

At the end of the post, that person tags 8 other people, or more letting them

know that they have been tagged, and to come and read the post,

so they know what they have to do.

Okey dokey, this is going to shoot my whole evening thankyouverymuch Joisey and Meg!

1. I wear size 11 shoes. They used to be 9's until I bred children. It's all good, though, I am cool with the size and actually LIKE my feet - they suit me very well.

2. I have never watched a Star Wars movie. Or Star Trek. Or anything with a spaceship that I can remember. Except E.T.

3. I don't think I have ever shot anything more dangerous than a bb gun. If I can help it, I never will.

4. The upper half of my hair is straight and the lower half is curly. This means I have to either straighten the bottom or curl the top to achieve any type of order. This makes mornings suck.

5. I cannot wear a ponytail because the top of my ears resemble satellite dishes.

6. The older my kids get, the more I enjoy being a mother. I was not very good at the baby/toddler thing. I felt like I had alien exchange students in my house. Strangely, I'm much more comfortable with babies now.

7. I love embroidered things and most types of needlework, but not so much cross-stitch. I like to crochet a little, too, but I have no idea about the difference between a dc and an sc so I freestyle.

8. I swear I have the ugliest elbows you ever saw. I did not even know this until about a month ago when they showed up on a photo. Seriously, who ever thinks to look at their elbows in the mirror. It's probably something God decided to thrust on me in exchange for liking my feet.

Okay, is that enough Jane trivia? I think it is MORE than enough.

I am going to tag everyone who reads this and hasn't done it. Trust me, I will KNOW who you are - so DO it.

As far as the public embarassing moments, I have had an awful time trying to choose. I think the top spot probably should go to Weimie for whom I have ONE word of advice: SLIP! Madge's deserves honors just because hers is probably every teenage girl's nightmare and the fact that she SHARED it is quite commendable. I think Rob gets the vicarious embarassment award. Who, honestly goes driving in the buff? Since he is not the first one I've heard who has experienced a naked driver, I have to think more than a few people do. But Frana and Kat, Momma and Manny, Mum and Cindy, Dramma and Isabelle ALL had good stories. Thystle? I think you liked showing off the girls a little too much to count it as an embarassing moment. Especially with all the free drinks they got you. And Bob? Bob, Bob, Bob. I don't know what to say. You gave away your shoes in probably the only country where you couldn't replace them. That might have just been a case of Karma teaching you a lesson.

And good news for me. My best chick trip bud in the world is coming out here, to my house, to see me next month. Yay! And we are going to go camping, river tripping, hiking, biking and Thai food eating until we EXPLODE! I would like to say that she was so impressed by my rap that she was moved to immediately book a flight out but no, she already HAD booked the flight when I wrote the rap and it would be just WRONG of me to let you believe otherwise. I'm pretty sure it was my charm in general that lured her. So I have a week of vacay to look forward to. Yay!

My Crappy Saturday Rap...by Jane

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 00:59:47 GMT

One eye open, it looks toward the clock

The time that I see is quite a big shock.

Half of the morning already wasted

Nastiest morning mouth I ever tasted.

Stagger to the kitchen looking for a drink

Open the fridge, didn’t even think

To question the milk shower on my legs

A hole in the jug, nothing left but the dregs

I survey the mess, how much worse could be had?

Looks like any house – in central Baghdad!

To clean this sty will take at least a week,

Why can’t someone else here be the clean freak?

Forget breakfast, think I’ll get dressed,

I look for clothes, they’re fantastically messed.

Okay, I guess, laundry tops out the chores,

No detergent at all, so I’m off to the stores.

This and that and those on sale

An easy 100 bucks spent without fail.

Home again, home again diggity dog,

Oops, missed my turn cuz’ my heads in a fog.

Road construction, in my way,

They promised to finish sometime last May.

Wait, wait some more, finally get home,

Ice cream melted, my mom’s on the phone.

Finally time for a swimming break,

Later Mr. Clean, I got a tan to make.

But the only swimsuit I’m able to find

Is wet, it feels icky on my behind.

Pull back the pool cover look inside.

Okay, that’s it, my patience is fried.

When last I left it, it was so clean,

Now it’s totally covered in green.

Get the pool vacuum, chemicals and more,

So much for the break, just one more chore.

Scrub it, shock it, vacuum the muck,

Almost done, but what the um… chuck?

The instructions say you must wait for day,

To get back in the pool, so it won’t be today.

More laundry, wash dishes, things to dust.

Vacuum and scrub, organize and just

When you think it’s done and looking all fine

You notice they’ve followed you right behind.

They deposited shoes and papers, debris.

An endless supply it looks like to me.

Homicide seems like the way I should go,

Although I don’t mean it, you must surely know

My arrest would be pointless, I have to predict

No female judge in the world would convict.

So after a day’s worth of shoveling the sand

Against the tide and blistering my hand,

I think the only thing left to say

Is - Mari come get me, I must run away!

Tomorrow, I PROMISE I'll be back. Too much to do tonight because school starts tomorrow! Lunches to make, clothes to iron, schedules to coordinate, mani's and pedi's to cure. It doesn't get easier as they get older - just different.

-j

Blog list: Spaces

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 14:16:25 GMT

Spaces

Texas Mammie
Fun stuff!
Lynn
Can't catch her..
SAAM
Party mom
SOS
Makes you sing 'Sending out an...."
TressiePooh
Her Corner of Life
Wondering Rehab
Wondering?
Bubbles
BubblesBest
Shanna
Mom and Photographer in You-Tah
Hilary
Master's student in Idaho
Mum
Living happily ever after...
Warmest
Another Canadian, eh?
Jean
Very nice lady who smokes chickens
Stepmonster
Wicked funny.
Speed of Life
From Wyoming
Edgy Kay
Likes children-the tasty ones
G
Taking one day at a time
Mojo
Rocking the nutty boat.
Frana
Green thumb AND tool talents
SkRuMshZ
A Canadian, eh?
Tracie
No, not that one, the OTHER blonde
The Great Pretender
Pretending to Pretend
Thystle
funnier than harpy toes
MaDukes
Live from New York...
Manny
A most famous of cats
Bob
R U Serious? No.
Steph
Kitty's Cattitude
Kat
The Magnet
Meg's Garden
One busy woman
Joisey
Very Observant
Cindy
She's a funny one.
Sleep Deprived Momma
Not up in the night
Madge
Your soaking in it.
~Weimiegirl~
Going to the dogs! :o)

Custom List: Jane's Stuff

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:16:11 GMT

Jane's Stuff

whyaskwhy13 at hotmail dot com
Let byJanes be byJanes
If you steal it and say it's yours, people will think YOU are goofy, too! And a thief. A goofy thief - not attractive qualities. Save your reputation... ask permission.

Custom List: My Society

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 22:24:10 GMT

My Society

CatTwo
Born in Omega's bedroom 2 years ago. Still acts like she's a guest.
CatOne
Middle-aged and crotchety. Has perfected the disdainful look.
Omega
My youngest, age 14. Perpetual motion. Way too perky.
Alpha
My starter child, Age 17, Tall, Athletic, Smile a mile wide.
Homer
My first husband. Probably my last. Why would you work so hard on something and then let it go?

Custom List: My Favorite Whys

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 22:35:36 GMT

My Favorite Whys

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? Are we supposed to write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked,
then why aren't electricians delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced tenty-one?

by JANE

Hmmm.....

BYE Jane

The death of Jane

Your participation is required.

Feeling as supported as when jogging braless

HELP!

Sometimes she makes me...*choke*... so proud!

speed blog

90 psi

Intermission time

Bits of Tid

Just call me Jane Lafonda

Lights Out

The Why Family Grows Up?

Mrs. Chuck Taylor would finally be proud...

Fried Day

Most Bothered

Tastes like chicken

I've been tagged

My Crappy Saturday Rap...by Jane

Blog list: Spaces

Custom List: Jane's Stuff

Custom List: My Society

Custom List: My Favorite Whys

Sometimes she makes me...choke... so proud!